Yes, You Can Grow Your Confidence (No Matter How Long You've Waited)

Many of us believe that if we are not confident, then too bad; that's just the way it is. The truth is if you're willing to make the decision and take action is is possible to grow your confidence. Just be prepared: real, lasting change will not happen overnight.

We each have a unique definition of what confidence means to us. For some, it is the ability to stand up in public and speak with ease, and for others, it may be simply walking into a crowded room without feeling awkward or blushing from head to toe.

It also could be as basic as comfortably getting naked in front of our partner with the lights on, or having the confidence to go out and land a great new job. Confidence really is different for everyone and can be influenced by our background, beliefs and expectations.

The Misconception 

Unfortunately, many of us have been led to believe that our confidence comes from other people. As a result, we often point the blame finger at others for ‘failing’ to instil in us the confidence we desire. In addition, we blame other people for shattering our confidence into little pieces.

The real truth is that you get your confidence from YOU, not from other people. It is purely an internal process. Okay, I acknowledge that many of us would like to have learned more about being self-assured when we were growing up, but hey, you are an adult now, so you can choose to take responsibility — today.

Growing the Confidence Muscle

It doesn’t matter how long you have felt lacking in confidence, you can make a decision right now to do something positive about it, and I will show you how.

Don’t forget that within every one of us lies a confidence muscle. Yes, it may have been downtrodden and crushed over the years, but that confidence muscle is still inside you and nobody can take it away — unless you let them. Just like any other muscle, it needs regular exercise to get it working effectively again.

Questions to Ask Yourself

It would really help to stop for a few minutes and take the time to write down the answers to the following questions:

• How have you let your lack of confidence affect your life?

• What will your life be like in five years’ time if you do not change?

The first question will help you examine the ways in which low self-confidence has been affecting your life to date. The second question will help you gain clarity on what may happen if you don’t decide to do something about it.

There is no right or wrong answer; just focus on whatever answer feels true for you.

What you Need to Know about Confidence

• Everyone already has some degree of confidence; it may have just been worn down over the years.
• Each and every one of us has the ability to grow your confidence build a strong confidence muscle.
• If you don’t take action now, things may never change.
• Building a firm foundation will make your confidence journey far easier and enjoyable.

One Minute Confidence Tips

Here's a quick exercise for you that can help you grow your confidence. Ready? Ok let's get started:

  1. Acknowledge the fact that everyone suffers from a lack of confidence at some time in their life. You are not fatally flawed and broken.  Take responsibility for building up your own confidence today. Nobody can do this for you.
  2. Take a piece of paper and write down 10 Consequences NOT taking action to become more confident.
  3. On that same piece of paper, write down how fabulous you will feel once you are feeling more confident! How will this change your life?
  4. Write down 10 Benefits of becoming more confident.
  5. Remind yourself that you can take responsibility for your own confidence.  Just because you have suffered from a lack of confidence in the past, does not mean you can’t change things now.   You can take responsibility for your own life right now.

We all have access to the confidence muscle and it doesn’t matter who you are or how long low self-confidence has been an issue in your life. Take action to build this muscle and you'll notice your confidence grow.

Lis Phillips 60Lisa Phillips is author of The Confidence Coach a simple, empowering guide to growing into the confident person you have always wanted to be. She has over 10 years experience helping other grow their confidence, and has helped thousands of people overcome their barriers to living life to the full.

top photo credit: Bindweed plant breaking through asphalt 8 - P1030678 via photopin (license)